So This Is What It's Like to Be a Mugger...

I have never mugged anybody, but I now know what pepper spray feels like. Last night, I was chopping a thai chili pepper and then made the mistake of trying to take out my contacts. Can you say...dumbass?

I had washed my hands before I attempted this, but I guess some chili residue was still on my fingers. As soon as I touched my eye, I felt excruciating pain. I backed away from my sink and tried to pry my eye open, but it was clamped shut. My eye and nose were soon stinging and felt like they were on fire that water would not dissipate. I bent over the sink and furiously splashed water in my eye to get rid of the horrifying agony. Finally, the pain and stinging subsided. My t-shirt was soaked and there was water all over my bathroom sink counter. My face was all red, and I was exhausted.

The only other time I have ever felt eye pain like this was when a couple years ago, I used expired contact lens solution, which actually I never knew expired, and as a result got an ulcer in my eye. I came into work, and people were like "Dude, what's with your eye?" because it looked like I had pink eye. I had to put in drops every 20 minutes and ointment every hour and couldn't face any light since the light hurt my eye so much. So I had a fun evening sitting at home that night in the dark, listening to the radio (couldn't turn on the TV because of the light) with my drops in hand.

Well, now this chili incident has educated me further. Before now, I hadn't fully given up the possibility of leading a life of crime, but this episode has sure set me straight. Klutzy moves like this are probably the reason why I don't get invited to fancy parties.