Birthday Post #04: Did You Know It Was My Birthday?

Yesterday, I woke up at the crack of dawn to go play tennis at 7AM. Normally, I am still in Neverland at that hour, but I'm borderline hard-core when it comes to tennis. As a result, last night, I passed out at about 10PM and slept till 10AM this morning (sssshhhh! Don't tell work!). Right now I feel confident, happy and not at all uncomfortable with my sexuality (the last one would probably be funnier if I were straight.) If this is what normal, relaxed people feel on a daily basis, I may have to give up blogging, and become a prescription drug addict. Short of that happening, the delusions of grandeur will be gone by tomorrow and I'll be back to my normal, albeit now-31-year old self.

Oh yeah, did I mention that today is my birthday? I wasn't sure if everyone knew that it was coming up because I forgot whether I told anyone here. Just wanted to make sure.

Last year on the day of my birthday, I actually had to work late that night of all nights. I complained to a co-worker of mine, and was like, "Oh man, I can't believe I have to work tonight on the night of my birthday." He replied, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I proposed to my girlfriend today and was going to take the day off." Um, nooooooo. Why the hell would that make me feel any better?

When I woke up this morning, I actually got a slew of birthday wishes emails, some from people who I haven't heard from in years. Uh, where were these people last year for my 30th? Oh and these weird messages on some "wall" that I have on Facebook. (I succumbed to pressure and created a Facebook profile, but I still have no idea how that site works.) And this morning, I also got many birthday IMs. It got to a point where I left my apartment this morning, expecting everyone I passed on the street to not only know it was my birthday, but also to stop me, shake my hand and offer their original rendition of the Happy Birthday song. Needless to say, I was a little depressed when I got to the office and all I got was a ho-hum "Hey." Also the pics of the awful earthquake in China and the cyclone in Myanmar really bummed me out. Not to put a serious downer all of a sudden on this special occasion, but it's really horrific. This is also depressing to read.

If that's not enough of a birthday buzz kill, according to the Farmers Almanac, today, my birthday is a great day "to go to the Dentist" and "harvest above ground vegetables." Mmmmm....pain and manual labor are always fun to experience on your birthday. Unfortunately, it's not a good time to "castrate animals", "set chicken eggs" or "make sauerkraut, can or pickle." Not that I was planning to set some chicken eggs today, but obviously I wanted to do some castrating and canning today. Way to ruin a good party, Farmer. This is why the government is taking away your land.

And to finish off this birthday exercise before getting back to normal, I'll return to the History Channel and other sources for some other less important events (less important than my birthday of course):

In 1944, filmaker George Lucas was born in Modesto, CA. I know I
mentioned this event last year, but it is worth repeating in honor of the new
Indiana Jones. Sorry, George, I think Harrison is too old. You
should have done this movie 10 years ago.

In 1796, Edward Jenner administered the first smallpox vaccine to 8-year-old James Phipps. Last year, I was on Roosevelt Island, which is one of the weirdest places in Manhattan by the way, and stopped in the island historical office. The woman there mentioned that they were trying to raise funds to restore an old smallpox hospital. I was thinking, "Uh...WHY? Tear that shit down and build a condo."

In 1864, Eleanor "Women can write opera too" Freer was born. I'm sure she wrote something famously important but everyone remembers Wagner and Verdi.

On May 14, 1881, Harper's Weekly featured a cartoon about the high price of gas. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

In 1904, the first Olympic Games in the U.S. opened in St. Louis. Seriously, guys. St. Louis? Have you been there?

In 1853, Gail Borden patents his (yes, HIS) process for condensed milk. Thai Iced Tea drinkers can rejoice!

In 1969, Cate Blanchett was born. In addition to Padma, Nigella and Cameron D, I'd turn straight for her.

In 1845, the Utrecht-Arnhem Railway opens. Well, FINALLY! Finally I can travel across canals and tulip fields to get to Arnhem. I've been waiting for so long!

In addition to the last episode of Seinfeld, the last episode of Family Ties aired on this day in 1989. I kind of still wonder what happened to Scott Valentine.

And just last year, DiamlerChrysler said it was selling almost all of Chrysler to private equity firm Cerberus Capital Management for $7.4 billion. Now the Germans can stop being embarrassed.

Back tomorrow with some ideas for gifts and where to send them.