Tuesday, April 08, 2008

A Hawaii Story You'll Hate To Love

Before I invaded LA and showed LA what I was all about, I made a quick side trip to the island of Kauai. It was pretty relaxing, and I don't plan on boring you with things like, "and then we went to the beach, and boy was it hot!" But I would be remiss to not at least tell you about my ho-hum trip to Waimea Canyon, the weird date rapist guy who tried to pawn his girlfriend to me, and the couple who I ended up having dinner with at the local ramen bar.

So when I arrived in Lihue, I was ready to see what made Bill Gates book every single hotel room on the island for his wedding. By the way, before I got there, I had been pronouncing "Lihue" as 'LIE - HEW.' It's really 'LE - HOO-EE'. How embarrassing.

Let me say from the outset that Kauai is BOOORRRRIIIINNNGGG. It's really quiet and when you drive around, all you see are miles and miles of sugar cane. It's the place you want to go, if you want to go in hiding. I drove all over the island in my trusty white Chevrolet Cobalt (I got to know Chevrolet's lovely Cobalt very well.) I saw a few sites including Waimea Canyon, which I have to admit was pretty impressive, but every Canyon I will ever see for the rest of my life will always pale in comparison to THE Grand Canyon. I only wish that my hair didn't look so weird in this pic. Thank you Aloha Airlines for the long flight that got my hair all nappy. May you rest in peace.

For the rest of my stay, I chilled at my hotel. On Saturday, I nearly keeled over from exhaustion after playing four hours of tennis in the hot sun. Holy shit. I think I understood then what "dehydration" and "heat exhaustion" meant. But at least I whooped that ball machine's ass. I also did play against a real person--another guest at the hotel--and won against him too. So my near-death experience was worth the effort.

I did meet a nice couple one night while having some noodles at the local Saimin bar who were on the island, looking for wedding sites. Actually the hostess put us directly across the counter from each other. At first I was across the girl, but then I moved down one seat because it was just weird. If I wanted to, I could have lovingly looked into her eyes, which I didn't think her fiance would appreciate.

And then there was the Date Rape Guy, some random dude who sat near me in the lobby bar lounge area. Unprompted, he says to me, "Hey, we have an extra girl in our group. You should take your best shot with her. She's pretty easy."

Uh, WTF?

Next stop for T. Cho, the OC!


thwany said...

wow you travel a lot. that's awesome.

Wayne said...

Last year when I was in Shanghai on a family trip, some random came up to me and asked "hey, are you looking for hookers?"

uh, WTF...

bigislandjeepguy said...

i'm island-hopping over from big island to meet my sister and her family on kaua'i in june. i laughed out loud when you said it was boring (well, all in caps and with all those r's). i think most people would think all the islands except o'ahu are pretty boring. we're just a little more laid back here. come to big island next time, i'll show you around, take you four wheeling on the edge of the earth. we'll see what "boring" is...hehehe.

bigislandjeepguy said...

ps...i don't think it's possible for you to take a bad photo, nor did you hair look weird in that one.