Monday, February 04, 2008

Our Captain The Comedian

This past weekend, I was in Bonita Springs, FL. Everyone kept asking me "Where the fuck is that?" when I told people that's where I was going. Well, as I've mentioned before, I love my Hyatts (there's a great one there), and I needed a break from work and annoying people to recharge my batteries (and maybe get myself back into regular blogging).

The hotel was pretty nice and afforded me the break that I needed from the real world. For beach access, the hotel featured a boat ride to their private beach on Big Hickory Island, which I thought was really more of a "hassle" rather than an "amenity." But, even though I am not much of a beach person, I wanted to check it out, since going to the beach is still a novelty for me.

As we embarked from the dock across the estuary (which I relearned from our captain is a body of water where freshwater and seawater mix together), our captain gave us the safety spiel. Now, keep in mind that the water here is never more than three feet deep, and the boat crawls at about 5 miles an hour. So telling us about safety for the ride bordered on the absurd.

Some snippets from the highly entertaining safety talk:

"If you fall out of the boat, it makes our lives much easier if you just simply walk back to the boat."

"If you do choose to fall out of the boat, try to land feet first. Landing head first is not advisable"

"While the boat is moving, it's important to keep your hands and heads inside the boat....(long pause)...wait, I mean head."

Give the guy his own show.

Hope everyone had a Bonita weekend!


teahouse said...

Wow!! Sounds like a nice getaway. You picked a good week not to be in NYC, too. The weather was icky.

David said...

You have to take a boat to the hotel's beach? What a hassle.