Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Call Me Mr. Hellman

I've cooked long enough now to not really need measurements anymore. I used to not be like that. I would sometimes try to follow along cooking shows, valiantly trying to understand vague instructions like, "It's done when it looks done," or "throw in some garlic," with me in my kitchen holding a whole chicken in one hand, a perfectly mixed vodka tonic in the other and having a nervous breakdown screaming, "FUCKING MEASUREMENTS, LYDIA! I NEED MEASUREMENTS!"

Over time I got the hang of it and was able to make myself meals that involved vegetables and ingredients. Before I knew it, I found myself actually enjoying cooking. But there are still a few things that I either won't make or hate making because of the amount of work, clean-up or other tasks that make cooking it supremely annoying.

Mayonnaise used to be one of those things. It just seemed like one of those items that you're supposed to buy. But I made it for the first time the other day, and it was a surprisingly thrilling experience. You throw all of these food ingredients into a food processor that you would never eat straight, namely oil and egg yolks and some lemon juice (well, I guess body builders drink (eat?) egg yolks by themselves), and voila! That liquid mass turns into the gelatinous blob that we all know and love as mayonnaise. It's like magic happening before your eyes.

Next up: Ketchup!


Ming the Merciless said...

Love the "Fucking measurements, Lydia! I need measurements!" comment!


Aaron Weber said...

My grandmother says she always makes her own mayo. I think what that means is that she hasn't used mayo in anything in a decade at least.

Homemade ketchup is probably not as satisfying-- Heinz is one of those really well-made industrial products.

tim said...

Homemade ketchup is quite laborious. But if you do it well, it is satisfying. Oh, and Heinz, contains High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Crash said...

I like homemade condiments. Don't make them often, but when I do, I enjoy them.

Michael said...

I'm pretty adept in the kitchen, but I have never made my own mayo. You're one up on me.