Confessional #6: I'm Not A Morning Person

I don't know why, but in every job I've ever held, I've never had "Summer hours." Who gets those? And where can I get some?

I've been kind of stressed about work this Summer and feeling a little lost. But it's been so busy that I haven't had as much time as I would like for my some primary stress-relieving activites, like writing in this here old blog (I can see my monthly stats have gone down) and making trips to the gym.

I'm a pretty regular gym-goer, but I've just been so tired after work. As a result, I feel kind of out of shape, and I know I've gained some weight.

So I thought I would try to go to the gym in the mornings. I found out my gym actually opens at 5AM. Fuck, that's early. Usually I'm only up that early in the morning, if I'm heading to the airport or I've gone back in time 4 years to my old job, and I'm finishing up an all nighter.

I've tried this before. I still remember the first time I did it. When I got to the gym, the place is packed. Apparently a lot of people go to the gym at that ungodly hour. They're all "fit" and "healthy" and they purposely
wake up early to go to the gym. And the weird part is, they don't look sad about it. They genuinely look happy to be there. At the time, the only rational explanation I could think of was that all of these people had been in life or death situations and proclaimed to God, "God, if you save me, I'll go to the gym every morning for the rest of my life," and now they're just happy to be alive.

It is cool though to feel accomplished in the morning. You're like, "Holy crap. I can get a lot done in the morning!" That day at the gym, I decided to spend some time on the treadmill. I started walking, and soon got into a light jog. Finally, I kicked it into a run. At first, I was forcing myself because my legs were so uncoordinated. I was sweating, not from exertion, but from the fear that I would trip myself, and fall face first on the treadmill and be shot out into the middle of the gym floor. But before it got to that point, I got into a groove and was chugging along with no problem. 6 mph. Throw a little incline in there. 6.5. No problem. More incline. Bring it on. Finally I was up to 7.5 mph with 3% incline. People at the gym were starting to take notice. A small crowd gathered around me. I heard someone in the crowd whisper "Superman." A woman took out a poster board sign that said "RANDOM GUY ON THE TREADMILL ROCKS MY WORLD!" and throws her sports bra at me. I was a running god that day.

Of course it wasn't that good, but it was surprisingly not bad. Once I got home, I felt like I had accomplished more in two hours than I had in the entire day before.

But that day was three years ago, and I haven't been able to do it again since. Instead, I work from home two or three days a week (although surprisingly, I'm more busy when I work from home than when I'm at the office), shave once a week, and come into the office at 11AM when I do get in, coffee in hand, effectively giving everyone else in the office a symbolic middle finger.)

I guess I just need to take it one step at a time. I'll start slow, like maybe get out of bed at 5 and head on over to the couch. That's a good start to my new over-achieving lifestyle.