From My Boring Vacation Posts To My Last Idol Post

It's a well known fact that no one likes to hear uninteresting stories about other people's vacations. It's like starting off every sentence, "Hey, remember the time you weren't there and..."

So I think I bored everyone here enough about my adventures out in Arizona. To sum up my trip, I spent the rest of the week in Scottsdale, playing tennis and enjoying my hotel with its own man-made beach and romantic gondola rides in the golf course lagoons. I honestly don't know how Scottsdale can support all of the fountains, Vegas style hotels and water parks, since it rains like twice a year there.

I also got to be in Arizona at the same time Jordin Sparks got crowned America's Idol. I was literally in the next town over from Jordin's hometown, and I felt like an adopted Arizonan since I love American Idol, and I must have subliminally predicted that Jordin would win so I could be in her home state at the same time as her coronation. Throughout this season, Jordin really never stood out to me that much, but despite my best intentions, I am extremely embarrassed to reveal that I loved her performance of that wretched "This Is My Now" song. I also enjoyed watching the finale, especially such priceless moments as

- The return of Little Miss Sobshine crying like a retard.

- Gina almost falling on her way back to the stage during "With A Little Help From My Friends."

- Kelly Clarkson pissed off at the world.

- Smokey Robinson looking really nasty and scary, like plastic scary.

- Clive Davis reminding us about ten times how Taylor Hicks has done shit for album sales.

- Bette Midler looking like a complete fool while adjusting her mic DURING her performance on the little remote thing clipped to that way too short leather mini skirt.

- All of Brangelina's kids coming out to sing and making me smile.

- Gladys Knight singing with all the female finalists but really only paying attention to Melinda and Lakisha. How much do you wanna bet that Miss Gladys declared, "Only Melinda and Lakisha can stand within 3 feet of me"?

Idol's over now. What am I gonna write about now?